To most people Metal is pretty indigestible, as is the burger in this recipe. This bugger is truly metal and the effect it has on your stomach is that of a properly low, sub-woofer induced Bass Drop: you’re down for a week, shitting mighty solids, but you’re satisfied to the max. Credits to Dan for naming our baby in the joint NCS-DMB naming contest, also found here, at NCS.

With a recommended portion size of two burgers per person, what do you need per person? Ingredients:

• 2 grand, juicy patties of beef, think quarter pounders or bigger
• 2 Cheese-onion buns, or if you can’t find those, either cheese buns or onion buns
• 2 Pineapple rings
• 4 slices of bacon
• 2 eggs
• 2 slices of Gouda cheese
• some ketchup
• some mayonaise
• and some Grolsch beer (cans or bottles) to wash it all down with

Got it all from the store? Then let’s get down to business. Stepwise, do the following:

Cut your buns open – that was the most difficult part – smear some mayonaise on top of the bottom half, followed by the slices of cheese. Put a frying pan on, no butter or oil and throw your bacon in when it’s hot. Fry it till crisp, take them out of the pan and put them on a plate for now.

Enter those eggs: fry them both sides, unless you like it sloppy, in which case make them sunny-side-up. No need for butter or oil once again, because you’ve got the bacon fat still in the pan – no unnecessary fat, fatty! Egg done? Put it on top of the cheese on the bun and top it with the bacon. Next, fry the pineapple rings shortly, until they get nice and golden. Put them on a plate again for now.

Now for the main ingredient, the godmother of awe: your juicy beef patties. Fry them the way you like ‘em; still red inside or until crispy black on the outside, whatever you like mate. When done, stack ‘em on the bun, followed by the pineapple rings. Finish off with a dump of ketchup.

When eating, add Grolsch beer according to taste. Enjoy the food coma!